This week a friend of mine sent me one of those emails that just keeps floating around and around in ones head:
Yesterday, I was chatting to a guy who is busy finishing off some painting work around our house. He started off saying that he and his family went out to Spur for dinner for the buy one burger get one free special. And because of the number of kids in the family, they ended up with one extra burger to take home. Then he said, his wife packed his lunch this morning and gave him peanut butter sandwiches, packing the hamburger for herself for her lunch. “You know what,” he said “last time she did exactly the same thing. I thought she would give it to me, you know, like it was my turn. At least she made me lunch, I guess.”
Phew! This makes one want to cry, jump up and down or do something for this wife to realise that her husband goes off everyday to serve his family and she took the whole burger and gave him peanut butter, not even something else yummy. She didn’t even just take half – but the whole thing! What sort of wife is she anyway?
Well, she’s probably a lot like most of us in many ways. Maybe this is why this rings so true and so deep to us wives. How often do we prefer ourselves above our husbands? This maybe in the area of food, such as eating the one biscuit left or buying a treat for oneself but not for him. It could be in the way we put our clothes away and not his or we serve the children their food and leave him to serve his own. We tidy the house but never offer to wash his car or we organise a holiday around where we want to go and what we want to do.
We are all human and a core element of our humanity is selfishness. It’s something we try to work out of our children but if we are honest with ourselves we will agree that it is rather suppress than conquered. Daily we need to choose to die to ourselves and think of others before ourselves. Ever time we put our men before us it is a conscious – and often difficult – decision and yet it is something that has the power to change lives and save marriages.
A few years back, whilst reading “Created to be His Help Meet” by Debi Pearl, I was struck by the stories of these women who chose to keep serving their men through the most horrific circumstances. I was infuriated by them and yet inspired. Yes, it was only through the strength of God that they could do what they did but hey, we have access to that strength too.
Recently we out for dinner with six couples. The moms are all friends and the husbands are just beginning to connect. Suddenly the one husband – probably the youngest in the group – says, “you know what I love about my wife, what I really love about her is that I can call home at any time of day and tell her I’m bringing some friends around and tell her what we want to have for tea or lunch and you know what, when we get there she has it all ready! I’ve even done it a few times just to show off to the other guys.”
Wow what a testimony to the power that lies within the way we serve our husbands. So let us be encouraged and inspired. Let this painter’s sad experience be turned into one of victory as it has a hand in making many of us have a hard look and reevaluate how we are preferring our husbands. Guaranteed serving and preferring him will not only increase his love and affection for you but you will become a “wife of noble character (who) is her husband’s crown” Prov 12:4 and as he “has full confidence in her and lacks nothing,” Prov 31:11 “he is respected at the city gate.” Prov 31:23
So yes, we may think it’s just a hamburger but really our husband’s pride, honour and crown are at stake. So let us all take that deep breath, look deep into our hearts and see just how we are able to daily prefer our husbands and watch a transformation take place within our homes.